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Testing 2 (Dirty Little Orphan Songs)

by J Doll

/
1.
I solemnly, declare war on thee.. cause I'm so over you.. ready for something new.. but if all I needed was a second chance.. then baby I wouldn't need one more reason to dance. I'm holding onto the hounds, won't release them yet onto the crowd.. you've been dancing on that floor all by yourself.. open wide I'll slip this pill into your mouth. You said all you needed was a little taste.. like a child girl you're still to scared to take. I will take you there.. straight through the safety of the status quo.. Just tell me when you're ready to go.. if all they need is one more second chance.. then baby let's give these people one more reason to dance. I see your eyes, sad from all of the lies.. no one here is going to say they're sorry… If you just got here.. welcome to musical chairs of ethics, morals and social hierarchy. Round & round, patterns they form around, until you've lost part of yourself inside the daydream. I can't even tell when you call to say hello.. or help me out.. Is that just one more wall set up to try and stop me? Cause I'm on a roll.. a roll or a fold? Well if I'm on a roll.. then baby let's stroll.. down this long hard road called rock n' roll. (I'll) give you/me one more reason to dance. mind your mind now. mind you're mine now. Will you dance with me tonight? Cause I want to feel alive..
2.
What's on tap? Latest stats on a matter of facts? Concede to believe it's just a part of the greater means.. Before you speak don't hold, just bite your tongue.. and they'll fuck you while it bleeds. Out from your head you try and will it away.. the storm cloud of guilty pleasures and self pity.. & I found sometimes it goes as quickly as it comes.. self inflicted feelings of anxiety. I'm not here just to kiss ass and play nice. I'm not here asking for your advice.. I'm not here begging for your attention.. I'm here.. just to take back what was/is mine. What do you know? you think you've got something new to say??? These people heard and seen it all before breakfast hit the plate.. and smashed down right across the face of contemplate. You said just change, rearrange, find the silver lining.. narcissistic thoughts of solitary drudgery. Sometimes I look around and all I can see is a canvas of dreams.. and invisible ink. I'm not here just to stand, form, fall in line. I'm not here just to shake hands and smile.. I'm not here begging for your affection.. I'm here just to take back what is mine.
3.
Gaze 03:41
4.
Baby I hope you sleep well tonight Ignore the bullshit, broken promises, born in crutches.. sleep tight. How long can someone hold on march single file down the runway extravagantly seldom Forget what you know you can't trust anyway.. thinking about the past, while today quickly fades. Baby will you come home tonight? Ignore those feelings.. dishonesty… we're just a dust speck of time. How long can we all just carry on, if today is just yesterday's and tomorrows problem? Work till you break.. others laugh to the bank won't matter how hard you try just be happy you live. body breaks down... Listen.. Replicate. And put all your cards in love and sing with me.
5.
If I was a folk singer.. my words could shake the earth. people sit crossed legged on the floor to hear my voice cry out over beautiful chords. & all of the boys would sing while driving their cars or house cleaning.. & our thoughts could then relate with every metaphor put in refrain. I'd write poetry on the walls of broken hearts of lonely dolls. You could play me on the radio, for your Mom, your Dad, your kids, your Grandpa Joe. All the wolves inside your head.. I'd chase away, yes I'd protect you while you lay down in your bed drunk and spinning from another weekend. I'd play all of the little notes that lets you love, lets you float high above the day gone by.. helps you enjoy your next sip of time… … But you'd just break me in two.. with every thought of you is like torture porn or gonzo games you look at me like I enjoy this pain.. When my voice cracks like lightning, feels like thunder on a cold wet window pane. If I was a folk singer my words would shake the earth.. people would stand and sing like a choir of suffering.
6.
Danger. Keep out. (my friend) No need to rehash sentimental arguments cause in the end it's condemned.. what the fuck just happened? Rewind my mind with false conclusions remember to forget the past.. resolution? I didn't mean to upset, I didn't mean to invade but it's so hard to talk when your just screaming back at me so quick to hang up myriad memories… … a decades difference to see that maybe nothings here has changed. I'm not one who likes to run in full circles and you'll always be ok Careful. Danger. Keep away. It's naive to believe, that I'd believe in everything the same way I was raised.
7.
You say, you control everything. Your own little world. The rest of us a blur. Fate not but your thoughts. Altered and exposed.. Diligently owned. Rest high above the stench of piss shit repent. Wired to look down the mirrors judgement. Well what would the world do, without one more negative cunt like you? What would the world say, without one more negative cunt in the way? Your laws of attraction condescend, with parking spots and wealth. As country's and forests burn, corporate politics poison the earth. Vanity of aging minds, pitch your designs. Salivating catch phrase. Your wallet is the stake. Where would the world be, without one more negative cunt to feed? What would the world know, without one more negative cunt in control?
8.
FunkCloud 06:05
Don't call it quits your so quick to forget that this is all you know. How long has it been since you smiled? It's been awhile.. become the moment not the stand-by beside. Echos exist, in past tense.. you need to learn how to forget, forgive, amend. I'm going to miss you, if you walk away. I'm trying to believe you, that this time you'll stay. Was I any good? Was it all just a waste? Would you honestly tell me? Or just comfort me for the sake… So reach through the binds, those that shatter the kind and sew the seems on the straight jacket of life.

about

If a sound is created and no one is around to hear it, was there ever really a sound?

I tinkered around with a few songs in 2013 and for whatever reason abandoned most of them in lonely seclusion.
However I decided that perhaps a few of these lower than lo-fi home recordings..(for whichever reason²) deserved a chance to live and breathe.
Together this misfit collection of tunes seem to work well in obscurity.. ugly,layered,cluttered and imperfect … yet charming.. DirtyLittleOrphanSongs indeed.

Anyways..
Enjoy.
and plug in some headphones, I'm not kidding..
Lyrics unlike batteries are included.

credits

released March 22, 2014

Vox/Guitar/Keys/various other sounds - Jay Heffernan
Bass - RomeoRomance
Beats - Dr. Iceman Hum

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J Doll Vancouver, British Columbia

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